Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Forbidden, Tabitha Suzuma

BLURB---A shocking, heartbreaking story of taboo romance that’s as compelling as it is controversial.

Seventeen-year-old Lochan and sixteen-year-old Maya have always felt more like friends than siblings. Together they have stepped in for their alcoholic, wayward mother to take care of their three younger siblings. As de facto parents to the little ones, Lochan and Maya have had to grow up fast. And the stress of their lives—and the way they understand each other so completely—has also brought them closer than two siblings would ordinarily be. So close, in fact, that they have fallen in love. Their clandestine romance quickly blooms into deep, desperate love. They know their relationship is wrong and cannot possibly continue. And yet, they cannot stop what feels so incredibly right. As the novel careens toward an explosive and shocking finale, only one thing is certain: A love this devastating has no happy ending.

This book.....this bloody book. Editing now three days later....still destroyed.
This is just gonna be a rambling gushing review. Actually more like a post-book analysis than a review.

I wasn't expecting this at all.
When I picked up this book looking at the reviews and status updates I assumed it was just about an incestuous relationship and that was going to be it. So I thought it would just be squicky and twisted.
I just didn't read it as this at all, I could not have cared less about the incest. Literally could not have cared less at all. In fact, it just added to how devastated I was for them.

The relationship between Maya and Lochan was not a seedy dirty thing, it was a survival co-dependent thing. Oh god....I'm reviewing this far too soon after reading. I was not at all comfortable reading it and I did wish they would find a better way to cope, but I get it. Completely and utterly 100%.
I think they were aware that is was due to their upbringing, they both question this then slam down that thought, because who wants to admit that they are fucked up so much that it is making them do these things? It is only with hindsight that they start to question how long they have felt like this. It was never a forgone conclusion when they were younger that they would be together. But I think it was easier for them to think it's because they were meant to be together, they both get incredibly angry when the other dares to question the reasons for their love.
They spent their whole lives playing "Mum and Dad" so they gave each other security....when their mother started becoming even worse (the fucking bitch...good god, I hated that woman)and they needed each other more did this path become the one they took, they were each others only happiness and stability in an otherwise awful chaotic situation. It stops so many feelings of self-loathing I suppose. To be aware that you have been abandoned by both parents.....by falling for the person who knows you so well is the ultimate reassurance that you are lovable. It seems to, not make sense, but I can certainly see the logic in it...I think. I wildly disagree....But I do get it.

Lochan is this book for me, Lochan- this man has possibly just become my favourite character of all time ever ever ever. Never before have I died inside so much for somebody. God I ached for him. He was always swimming against the tide.....drowning. Poor poor poooooooor Lochie. I think once I have had a bit more time to process.....I'll add more. But for now, all I can say is I love him.

Maya, so intelligent. Loved her too, I felt awful for her at the end. I momentarily forgot about Lochie and just had to feel for Maya. 

The writing of this book is some of the best I have ever read. It just cut right through me. You know when you read, and it feels like it's pinpointing an exact place in your mind? Like it just slices through and touches you. Oh fuck...this book!!!! If you haven't read it you need to.
I want to randomly mention the kissing....it's some of the most intense kissing ever. Heavy with so much emotion, I kiss my guy everyday and I feel like I'm not honoring the emotion behind the act after reading about these two. I'm being too flippant with my love! Never before has a KISS shown such intensity, emotion and desperation. Oh god this boooooooooooooooook. Life changing kinds of awesome.

Spoilers now....If you haven't read please don't spoil!! 

I had a feeling quite early on that the way Lochan was behaving could only really point to suicide as an ending....I didn't think it would be this way though, I thought because of his behaviour throughout the book he would have done it sooner rather than a big event push him into it. The way he just descended and spiraled....So it surprised me that he actually had the strength he did. 

I'll probably change this review in a bit. But I needed to....I don't know honor the book by writing something immediately. 
Gonna go cry some more now.


  1. Wow, increíble, como lo describiste, mejor imposible! es un libro hermosamente desgarrador :D

    1. Thank you for reading my review! I had to do a google translate hahaha. :)